What is a Country to Do?
In recent times, the throne of Scotland has been filled with very small men. These
so-called sovereigns have abused their God given power to their own pitiful ends instead
of using it the way it was meant to. They spend our taxes foolishly so that they can live in
splendor, chase their enemies to the grave, and insure that the common man cannot rise
against them. They live in fear of falling from power to the point where any who question
them are imprisoned, killed, or simply disappear. It is only because we are currently
between kings that I feel safe to speak my mind on the subject. These half-baked monarchs
sit in chairs of inscrutable power, hiding behind walls built on the backs of those they are
meant to serve, their days filled with plans to cement their positions as absolute rulers of
Heaven and Earth. In this edition of my column I beseech the people reading this to take a
stand against the corrupt nobles and demand that we get the king that this land of ours has
needed for so long.
The one who we trust with the appointment of governing us must stand up to a
certain measure in my opinion. He must be no more important than any other man under
God, but he must also be able to fill the duty that no other is qualified for. I have a list of
specific qualities that such a man must posses if he wishes to be my king, here in this issue
is that list.
The man who is to be king must be both loved and respected by the people. He must
do what he can to please them but not give in to shameless gimmicks to appear that he is
doing what is right. He must be a role model to our children and an inspiration to us all. He
must listen to the plights of his people and do what is in reason to fix the problems that we
face on a daily basis.
The one who is to be king must be always ready to change his policies, but not to
the whim of popular opinion. He must be flexible, after all, if the mast of a ship cannot be
bent in the wind then it shall crack and break under the force of a major squall. He mustn’t
have his ideals so set in stone that they would be the undoing of the nation, for his voice
speaks to others for us.
He must be able to handle many affairs at once, both domestic and international, but
he must also know when to delegate his work load so that he is not commanding our army
and sweeping the streets at the same time. He must have a team of trusted advisors whose
opinions are appreciated but not always taken at face value.
He must be a family man to insure that his bloodline is safe to avoid a scramble
among the nobles for power on his deathbed. He must at all costs be noble and faithful to
his wife so that there is never a scandal that would disgrace himself or his country. In
raising his children, he must instill in them the same standards that he himself lives up to.
He must prepare his sons fully for the task that one of them must undertake when he has past
The man who wears the crown must do so, proudly, during the best of times and the
worst of times. For any man can do his job when it is pleasant and calm, but he proves
himself when the day turns on him. The fates can bring us many things such as war, famine,
and pestilence, our king needs to stand unfaltered to all of these and more without the
throne getting uncomfortable. He must be able to meet with triumph or disaster, and treat
those two impostors just the same.
He must be able to forget that he is a man so that he doesn’t spend his days plotting
the demise of his enemies. He must not be spiteful but also bring real traitors to the hand of
justice. He must be fair when dealing with those that would defy him and never act too
rashly when dealing with such men.
He must be able to know when he is at fault. Too many kings mistake themselves
for being as infallible as God, and react as such as soon as someone tries to question them.
As a journalist, my colleagues and I feel this more than others. I can remember far too many
of my friends being thrown in prison just for saying an unfavorable word about the king.
While he should not be an object of ridicule, he should be able to accept the criticism and
right himself without biting back.
Many of the items on this list have opposing stipulations, that is the whole point.
The king must not lean too far to the right or left, he must stay more or less in the center.
For he is the representative for our country and must therefore show the average of what
people think. That is why we must search far and wide for a man who meets this
description, if we do not take a stand we have only ourselves to blame.