Its Very Dark So Dark It Almost Hurts My Eyes Just Straining To See Into It While Im Trying To Peer Into The Darkness My Eyes

It’s very dark. So dark it almost hurts my eyes just straining to see into it. While I’m trying to peer into the darkness my eyes feel like they are glaring and squinting so hard they’re just slits that I could hardly see out of anyway. They are actually willing themselves to see something-anything. They seem to scream out to my brain to conjure up an image just so they could prove they still work.

I suddenly become aware that the blackness that surrounds me is deadly quiet, too. Shouldn’t I be hearing something; why can’t I see? Where in the heck am I? And what is happening around me? Am I dead? What was I doing just a few minutes ago? I can’t remember a thing. Now this is beginning to scare me. How do I get out of here? Nothing moves around me. Everything is void and then I begin to drift slowly up and then away and now..I am…no longer..afraid. “Oh my God!” he says, “there’s a woman in here–it looks like she’s dead or close to it. Call 911, this just happened! Get the ambulance here fast. At least I think we need an ambulance.” As Kate dials the cell phone in the car her hand shakes. She’s never seen an accident before and just the aftermath is overwhelming.

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She’s had more than one dream where she can’t get the 911 number dialed into the phone. It seems so easy in the dream until it is time to actually do it. Then the phone is busy or she mis-dials or she just can’t make her fingers go. Right now her hands are shaking and she’s trying to remember exactly where they were when they came upon the accident scene. The operator will want to know that.

Come on, answer, answer, answer! “Hello, yes, we’ve come across an accident on West Ferry Road about two miles out of town, north, no south of town, I think. There is one person in the car but she doesn’t look too good. Please send an ambulance-quick! What? No, I’m not sure if she’s breathing. Just a minute-let me check.” “Jack, is she breathing? Can you get to her? The operator will help, if she can.” “I can’t hardly reach her everything is so twisted up and around her.” As he tries to reach in to put a finger under her nose or detect any movement of her chest he feels a thick, sticky wetness that makes him stop for a second. What the hell? As he jerks his hand out he instantly knows what it is-blood and plenty of it.

Oh, God, now what have I gotten myself into? You can’t even help out at an accident scene these days without being afraid of hepitatis or AIDS. Just then he feels a slight movement and can see her head barely moving. She must be alive or maybe it’s just involunatary jerking that follows death. “Kate, tell her I can’t tell. There’s an awful lot of blood, but I think there’s a chance she’s still alive.

Hurry! Tell them to hurry! I’ll stay here until they come. You just stay there on the line, if you have to.” “Operator? We don’t know, we can’t tell. There’s lots of blood, but we can’t be sure. It looks very bad. Please hurry. We’ll stay here until help arrives.

Do I need to stay on the line? Okay, but tell them to get here quick. She really needs some help.” As Kate stays on the line with the operator Jack begins to talk to this woman who probably just minutes ago was traveling down the road with not a hint of what was to happen, whatever it was. Did she dodge a deer, fall asleep, change a tape, or what?. She really wrapped it around this power pole and now seemed to be in a fight for her life. Was she aware of what had happened or what was happening now? Probably not–that gash on her forehead lookes pretty horrible and deep.

Maybe she’s brain dead. Wonder if she had a donor card? Do the paramedics check for that before they leave the scene? As these thoughts raced through his mind, in the distance he could finally hear sirens–probably an ambulance and fire truck. “Just hang on lady, help is almost here; you’ll be alright. Just take it easy and someone will be here to get you out of this mess. Just stay with me. You’ll be okay.” It’s still dark but I can hear and sense movement. It seems frenzied.

What is so exciting? I can feel how urgent their movements are but why? Is it me? Am I in trouble? Don’t panic, just lay back and let this–whatever it is–takes its course. This will eventually go away and I’ll figure it all out. Not to worry. Not to worry. Just stay put and Paul will show up and explain it all to me.

He always does. Just wait for Paul. He’ll be here…in just…a…while. “Man alive, Jake, this is a bad one. I knew the first icy night would bring in a doosey.

She’s really broken up. Has the skull film come down yet? I’m afraid we’re looking at donor city here. With the machines doing all the work for her now, it’s just a matter of what kind of shape her head’s in.” As Jake looks down at the battered and broken shape on the bed it’s hard to believe she survived the ride in. She must have been in great physical condition to be able to sustain injuries like this and make it this far. Where are those films? Dr. Dell is going to have someone’s head if they don’t show up soon. And it’ll probably be mine. You can get alot of cleaning done during the commercials.

I always hate it when the local news channel changes their anchors. Or their weather or sports guys. Or even the reporters. Don’t they know that they’ve got an audience that grows attached to that one specific person being there each day bringing us a small thread of what is going on around us and the world. This isn’t something to be fooling with.

I grow attached to their usual good looks, cheerful manner, sometimes biting remarks and every now and then you can even get a glimpse at their personal, private lives. Just when you think all is well, all of a sudden THEY ARE GONE! On another channel? Did they move across the country? Were they fired or did they just ask for too much dough. And I never like their replacements. I see them as evil dictators who probably walked in the front door of the studio, taking prisoners and barking orders as they waltz around desks and weather maps. All the regulars recoil with horror, each praying it..won’

We, as an audience, don’t get to know about it until the bleeding is over. And if we are lucky we may read about it in the local paper or pick up some tidbit of info that may or more than likely may not explain what happened. One sports guy quits to see more of his family. Man, I didn’t want to see him go. But, oh well, he’s got to do what he’s got to do. Enter new sports guy.

After several weeks I finally start thinking that this guy won’t be half bad. And before you know it, I’m hooked. Things are going along smoothly. I really like new sports guy. But here’s comes the clinker. Old sports guy must miss his job or maybe his family doesn’t like him as much as they thought they did.

Or maybe he doesn’t like them much anymore either. One income is tough to live on these days. His wife could have gotten tired of being the only bread winner and it must surely have annoyed her thinkgin about him hanging around the house all day. So, here comes old sports guy, bullying his way in and before you know it new sports guy is nowhere to be found. I liked new sports guy and I don’t want to see him go.

Now I have a grudge against old sports guy. I’ll never feel the same about him again. What about loyalty. Evidently the news channel executives don’t believe in the word. I stand by “my channel” and their people. Do you follow me? Are you following me? Is anyone out there who 9:58 PM 3/23/99.


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