Carrot

.. his is weird? This guy is weird? I don’t wanna be here. “Did you forget that I can hear your thoughts?” “Dude whatever, I’m just kinda dazed right now.” “That’s highly understa beeb beeb beeb.” Oh thank God I’m back. But hat alarm clock is getting to be annoying. I’ve got to get out of here maybe it’s just a dream or whatever, but all I know is that I gotta go.

I need to find someone else that’s real, like me? I think I’m real. How can I be sure? Who cares I’m gone. “Mom? Anybody? Come on, answer me. Please.” Great, of course, I need someone and there not here. I’ve gotta find somebody to help me.

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This is so creepy. O.K.? There’s no cars outside anywhere. All the dogs from across the street are gone. Well I guess I’m alone. I wonder if that’s good.

What happened to that tree? It’s pulsatin’ and bleedin’ Does it have a heart? Oh crap it’s reachin’ for me. As long as I stay here I should be safe. OH NO EVERYTHING”S ALIVE AND AFTER ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m gonna die. “Wake up your late for school.” What the? I don’t? Wait? Was that my mom? Am I home? With other people here for that matter? My radio’s on. That’s reassuring cause I left it on when I went to sleep.

I should have known that all that other stuff was just a dream cause my radio wasn’t on. Or was the other stuff real and this is a dream? Did I really leave the radio on? I usually do. I think? Maybe everything that I’m remembering now is from a dream world that I’m in now. “Get up! You’re gonna miss the bus!” Oh well I guess I should just forget the whole thing and get up. I think everything’s normal.

I better get dressed. It might actually be normal cause I got my clean clothes pile and my dirty close pile and messy room and my kickin’ stereo and my colored light bulbs and everything. It’s just like I think it should be. Crap an’ now I gotta go ta school. Oh well as I learned last night there are worse places ta be. But if that was just a dream then I haven’t been anywhere worse so I can still complain about school.

I wish I could go back ta the past. The old timey wars were cool. Like before Vietnam and stuff. Somethin’ like the Civil War or American Revolution. I hate big words.

I wanna read a comic book I haven’t done that in soooo long. Thor sucks, Spawn could kick his… “Brother mom said get up. It’s already time for me to leave.” “Tell’er I ain’t goin’.” “You tell her. I don’t have to do what you say cause your not the boss a me.” “You brat, can’t you just do anything without whining like a baby?” “Mooommmmmm, brother called me a brat.” “Tell him to come here.” Great been up 5 min. and I’m already gonna have to listen to gripin’. “It’s not my fault your daughter’s a brat.” “Well it’s not my fault you grounded.” Oh no.

I’m grounded. What will I do? “What am I grounded for?” “You know.” “Do not.” “Whatever, just get ready for school.” “O.K.” (Imeta apsela pig latin) “I’m leaving.” “Bye, and you’re still grounded” “Whatever.” I wanna go see “Varsity Blues”. I can’t believe they carded me. And then havinn’ a cop check tickets. I wouldn’ta thought twice about sneakin’ in. But no.

I shoulda cussed them out. She couldn’ta been old enuff that she wouldn’t been carded to. She shoulda felt my plight and let me. Oh well I’ll use the passes to see a movie later. I don’t know if I wanna see it now anyway.

I don’t wanna do anything right now. I’m so tired. I wish I could sleep for a entire day straight. That’d be cool. But no I hafta wake up every mornin’. I think I’ll go ta sleep as soon as I get ta school.

I wanna get some black fingernail polish. Is that a train? No I don’t live near the tracks. What is that sound? Oh crap! A tornado sounds like a train. But it’s not rainin’. I’m goin’ back inside.

I’ll check the weather channel. “Mom I think there’s a tornado.” “If you’re trying to get out of school, it’s not going to work.” “Just check the weather channel. I ain’t about go back out there until I know there isn’t a tornado.” “Look on 4. They would have a warning across the bottom.” “O.K. See, I told you. Look, right there it goes across the screen tornado watch.” “It’s probably not for our parish.” “You know I’m smart so why do find so hard to believe anything I say.

Besides it says right there: St. Tammany parish.” “O.K. you’re right.” “Well it doesn’t matter it’s just a tornado. I’m just glad I don’t hafta go ta school.” “What do you mean it’s just a tornado?” “Well, I’ve been in a bunch, no big deal.” “Tornado’s kill a lot of people.” “Not me.” “You’ve been lucky.” “Nope.” “I swear, sometimes I think you’re on drugs,” said she. “Well I’m not.” “I believe you.” “You should.” “Well you never leave the house, how could you?” “Yeah whatever.” “Well you don’t.” “God, mom there’s a tornado outside an’ all you can do is rag on me.” “Have I said anything that wasn’t true?” “Whatever.” “Did you tell your sister to send me my C.D.’s yet?” “There’s a tornado outside an’ all you can talk about is your C.D.’s.” “Well the two I got for Christmas have been at her house since three days after Christmas an’ the other one’s a double C.D. of the Smashing Pumpkins.

My favorite C.D.” “When I talk to her I’ll tell her that you want them.” “I wanna get a skateboard.” “Why, you got rollerblades and you don’t use those?” “Yeah but a skateboard is more fun. When I go to college I can skateboard to my classes.” “You could rollerblade.” “Nope, then I’d hafta carry shoes and stuff. Too much hassle.” “Well good point.” “Besides on campus, cars can’t drive fast so I can just grab hold of the tailgate and I’m on my way.” “You know that’s dangerous, right?” “I’ve done it before.” “When?” “When I was at my Dad’s.” “He let you?” “Not his car.” “Whose?” “I don’t know.” “You just grabbed some stranger’s car and road behind the on a skateboard.” “No, rollerblades.” “Still, that’s just not safe at all.” “Yeah I know if they getting in a wreck or slam on the brakes or make a sharp turn then I could get hurt.” “If you know it’s dangerous, then why did you do it? You thought it was cool, huh” “It was.” “Anyway we need to go into the bathroom or something.” “Mom are you jokin’.” “No the bathroom is the safest place in the house.” “And?” “Well let’s see. There’s a tornado coming so, I don’t know maybe we should go play outside with metal objects.” “Mom it’s not that big a deal.” “Yeah just a tornado, nothing to worry about.” “You don’t hafta get sarcastic about it mom.” “Well if you didn’t say stupid things.” “It’s not stupid. That’s just the way that I feel.” “O.K. whatever, but if it’s not a big deal then you should go to school.” “Why? They’re gonna send thee students home soon anyway. They’re probably on they’re wasy home now.

I’m gonna go play on the computer now.” “You don’t need to play on that thing so much.” “I haven’t played but like once this week. Besides what else is there to do.” “Whatever.” I just wanna play the game I just downloaded and I gotta here crap about it. I don’t know why she won’t just get off it. “Buzz buzz buzz.” What the heck I thought that was just a dream and I woke up, me wakin up was just a dream. “So I’m guessin’ you might want a explanation, huh?” “Who are you?” “That would go a long as part of the explanation now wouldn’t it?” “Well I guess so.” “The truth is everything you think is real was just a test.” “A test?” “Yeah your mom, your dad, your friends just a test all in your mind.” “My family was a dream?” “Yup, you see the mind isn’t really something you can touch. It’s more like what you thought was your soul, and it doesn’t always know the difference between reality and imagination.” “Wait? My mind? Not real?” “Don’t interrupt me boy. I’m trying to explain something but you won’t shuddup long enough to listen.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, well you see a great emperor is prophesied to arrive so to prevent nonuseful people from being born we test the mall on the way out. You didn’t know the difference so you’re gonna die.” “Wooo noo, I m not gonna die.” “Is that a fact?” “Yeah you think I’m just gonna let you kill me?” “Look at yourself you aren’t what you were in your dream. You are powerless. You are as they would say in you test a weakling.” “Oh God you’re right. I can’t even move.” “Won’t matter in a sec.

I decided that since in your dream people used guns to kill each other I’d do you the justice of using one on you.” “No please don’t.” “That compassion thing was sorta funny wasn’t it. I put that in your test because I wanted to see if you would beg me for your life and you did. Well I’m never ceased to be amazed by the people I kill. All different. But now it’s time for you to accept your fate.” “KAPOW!!” (Story over I’m dead.) P.S.

The entire story is true.

x

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